Todd Biske wrote a good post the other day that focused on how governance doesn't mean command and control.
Let me add a few important things to the discussion though: no amount of "management by consensus" will make everyone happy. There will always be someone that's unhappy with something. The real issue is that different people will be unhappy about different things - so you'll end up with everyone unhappy in one way or another anyways.
What this means for SOA governance is actually pretty simple: less governance is good governance. It sounds pretty simplistic but the fewer policies you put in place, the fewer things there are for people to be unhappy about - and therefore the easier it will be to come to consensus, and the more people will be happy being governed.
As much governance as is absolutely necessary, but no more.
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